In the end I guess I am better off alone like this. I’m just poisonous to everyone I’m around. I’m just driving everyone I love away from me. Pathetic. I don’t want to be pitied. I know I’m useless and I know I don’t matter, and I wish everyone could see that and leave me alone. Don’t ask me for answers. Don’t ask me for anything.
There’s a lot of stuff that I write that I never share with anyone. Sometimes I feel like I’d be better off by myself. I used to be really antisocial; now I’m just introverted and I pretend to be comfortable. I just want someone to hold me—I miss that a lot.
I legitimately have thoughts about how intelligent I am. Not in the good way. I question whether I’ve just built up this idea of intelligence for myself. Maybe I’m smart because I’ve willed myself to be; not because I really am. I have these ideas that maybe I’m just living a lie. I don’t want people to be impressed; I just want them to know that I’m valuable so that I’ll feel valuable. And the only person who could help me feel better is gone now. Which seems to be the better for both of us; certainly for her.
I’m skipping the STC appreciation dinner to stay in my room and cry. I just want to be smart. I just want to be useful. And instead I’m an idiot. A useless one, at that. How do you go on living when you feel like this?
Source:182 aniversario del nacimiento de Eadweard Muybridge como muy bien nos recuerda el querido amigo Google
So, this just happened in my game. I’m never speaking to Samantha again.
(via putthelimeinthecoconutand)
Source: stormcloak
